


just a heartbeat away

by storhan



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drinking, Frottage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 07:39:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4779047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storhan/pseuds/storhan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall's birthday doesn't quite go as planned, but it turns out better than he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just a heartbeat away

Niall tosses his phone on the bed, collapsing onto the mattress next to it with a muffled groan into his pillow and tries not to feel too miserable about the fact that he'll be alone for his own birthday.

Normally he can handle rejection fairly well, but it's different when it's your own band mates (and ex-band mate) turning you down on your birthday. He gets it though, and he understands that Zayn's busy in LA recording his first solo album and that Louis now has fatherly duties to attend to, but he was a little heartbroken when Liam told him, through all the coughing and sniffling, that he couldn't make it because he wasn't allowed out of bed. Niall quickly silenced any apology from Liam, telling him that his health was more important than anything else and that they could celebrate anytime, but he still couldn't help the sinking feeling in his stomach at the thought of being alone on his birthday.

And maybe he's being a bit dramatic because he won't  _actually_  be alone. Harry already told him a month in advance that he'd be there no matter what, but Niall really wanted to celebrate with the five of them together again.

He rolls over onto his back and stares at the ceiling, trying to look at the positive side of this situation: he gets to spend his birthday with one of his best friends. Out of all the boys, Niall's always felt closest to Harry, like he could tell Harry his innermost secrets knowing Harry would never tell a soul; like the two of them could stay up all night together doing absolutely nothing and he'd still say he had the time of his life. But things have been distant between them lately, and Niall knows he's the one to blame.

It felt like some big epiphany at first, when Niall realized he had feelings for Harry, but the more he thought about it and the more he analyzed every little moment that happened between them the last four years, he realized those feelings were always there, hiding in the background, but he didn't fully notice them until two months ago when they shared a drunken kiss at an end-of-tour party. Harry didn't bring it up the next morning, and neither did Niall, and he thought that was fine, until it wasn't.

Objectively speaking, Niall always thought Harry had pretty lips, perfectly pink and plump, but soon after the kiss, Niall found himself staring at Harry's mouth longer than he probably should have, thinking how soft Harry's lips felt against his.

He finds himself thinking about them now and how he's going to have to spend an entire night not looking at - or  _thinking_  about - Harry's mouth. He doesn't think it'll be that hard because he's been doing that for the past two months, and he doesn't want things to be awkward between them, but he knows he'd be the only one to blame if they were.

He pushes all those thoughts aside and turns off the lamp, settling back into bed and closing his eyes, hoping a good night's sleep will get his mind right again because he refuses to let his own childish feelings get in the way of him having a good time on his birthday.

Just before he drifts off, he hears the faint buzzing of his phone under the duvet next to him. He blindly reaches for it and blinks against the bright light of he screen, a small smile playing at his lips. He doesn't have to see it to know that it's from Harry, wishing him a happy birthday at midnight exactly, just like he does every year, but his heart leaps out of his chest all the same.

-

He wakes up to a phone full of birthday messages from Louis, Liam, Zayn and his family (including a picture of Theo in a party hat that he'll show Harry later), replying to each with a thank you and a promise to see them soon. When he checks Twitter, he scrolls through the thousands of birthday tweets in his mentions with a wide grin plastered on his face and types out a quick thank you for all the lovely messages. He continues to look through his mentions and sees a tweet from each of the boys, his smile only growing wider when he sees a tweet from Harry.

_**@Harry_Styles** : A massive happy birthday to my favorite Irishman @NiallOfficial. Pints are on me tonight .xx_

-

He spends his day lounging on the couch in front of the telly with his hand in a bowl full of crisps as he watches every footie game and tennis match he can find. It's a bit more laid back than some of his past birthdays, since the boys have other plans and he already celebrated with his family in Ireland a week ago, but it's also one of the most relaxing days he's had in a while, so he's not complaining.

Niall had told Harry to meet him at the pub at six, and the closer the clock draws near, the more Niall can feel his stomach flip in anticipation. After some thought, he realizes that maybe he was overreacting last night about spending the night with just Harry, because the longer the day drags on, the more he's excited about going out and having a good time.

When the clock strikes four, Niall saunters into the bathroom and treats himself to a long, hot shower, letting the water relieve some of the tension in his back. Eventually he steps out, hissing at the sharp cold of the tile floor against his toes, and walks across his bedroom and into his closet.

Niall can feel himself overthinking again as his eyes peruse the many racks of clothes, wondering how fancy he should dress for this before realizing that he's being silly, it's his birthday and he can dress however the fuck he wants, so he reaches for the first thing that grabs his eye - a blue and gray button down and a pair of blue jeans.

He dresses quickly, glancing at himself in the mirror as he fusses with his hair until he deems it acceptable. He checks the time on his phone and makes his way toward the door, grabbing his keys and his wallet before shutting the door behind him.

He drives the short distance it takes him to get to the pub, knowing he's probably way too early, but he really needs a drink (or two) to settle his nerves.

His fingers are still shaking even as he opens the door to the pub and steps inside. It's a bit crowded for a Sunday night, but Niall's secretly thankful for the extra noise, he hopes it'll distract him from the pounding of his heart in his ears.

A pretty blonde behind the bar approaches him and asks what he wants to drink. Niall mutters a reply and a second later, she brandishes a bottle of Corona and pushes it across the counter towards Niall, who immediately picks it up and takes a greedy gulp, already feeling much more relaxed.

"Anything else for ya?" she asks, and as if on cue, his stomach grumbles.

"Uh, yeah, a burger with chips, please," he says, and she nods with a smile before disappearing behind the bar.

Niall glances around the pub for a place to sit, and to his luck, he finds an empty booth tucked in a private corner near the back. He sets his bottle down on the table and sits down on the worn leather seat, fishing his phone out of his back pocket. He sees a few more birthday texts, but at the very top he sees a text from Harry.

_Be there in five .x_

Niall can feel his heart rate pick up a bit. He thought he'd be on his second beer by the time Harry showed up, and he's not even halfway finished with his first.

He's a bit relieved when the bartender chooses that moment to bring him his food so he has something else to focus on.

"Ordering without me?" Niall nearly chokes on a chip when he hears Harry's familiar drawl, and when he turns to look up at him, Niall half expects him to be smirking, but instead he looks slightly concerned because Niall hasn't stopped coughing. "You alright, mate?" Harry asks, placing a warm hand on Niall's shoulder.

Niall nods a bit furiously, taking a sip of his beer and a few slow, deep breaths. He can hear a soft chuckle as Harry slides into the seat across from him.

"Didn't mean to scare you," Harry says, stealing a chip off of Niall's plate.

"It's fine," Niall says offhandedly, pushing his plate toward Harry. He normally doesn't like to share his food, but he usually makes an exception for Harry, since he knows he'll end up stealing half of Niall's food anyway.

Harry takes one look at Niall's half eaten burger and shakes his head. "No thanks."

"On another juice cleanse?" Niall teases, his chest feeling warm when Harry laughs.

"No," he says. "One was enough."

Niall laughs this time, a bit weakly, thinking about Harry spending most of his free time in LA with his other friends, drinking smoothies and eating frozen yogurt while Niall spends his days in rainy London holed up in his flat watching sports and stuffing his face full of junk food. Again, he knows he's the one to blame for living a not-so-exciting life when they're not touring because Harry's offered many times to let Niall stay at his house for a visit, but he's given Harry every excuse in the book because he feels like if he distances himself from Harry, that maybe his feelings for him will magically go away.

The pretty bartender comes back to their table to carry away Niall's plate, asking them if they need anything else, and Harry asks her for a beer, flashing her a grin that sends a pang through Niall's chest. It's in that moment that Niall realizes his feelings have not gone away, and that they've possibly even doubled.

Niall reaches for his beer and takes a long pull because this is the last thing he wants to think about on his birthday. He finds it a bit difficult when Harry turns back to him, still wearing the same grin he gave to the bartender.

"This is nice," Harry says. "Kinda like the old days."

Niall nods, because he had been thinking the exact same thing, how Louis used to drag the four of them to some bar or club after each show during the American leg of the Take Me Home tour, teasing them all night long as he drank his beer while they were all stuck drinking water or soda. But what Niall remembers most is how most of those nights ended with him and Harry leaving the pub last, too immersed in whatever conversation they were having to notice that the others had left.

"Yeah, s'nice," Niall says quietly. "Just wish the other lads were here. Feels like it's been ages since we've all been together."

"I wish they were here, too," Harry says, his voice dropping as low as Niall's for a moment before his grin returns. "But hey, I'm here."

Niall smiles in spite of himself, because he knows Harry's just trying to get him to smile and he hates how it works every time. It's the one thing they can always count on each other for: to keep one another from wallowing in their bad moods. Niall appreciates the effort, but he's sulking for a different reason.

They order another round of beers, and luckily, Niall's mood lifts as the conversation takes a much lighter turn, talking about the upcoming album and Harry's adventures in LA. Harry's halfway through a story about Jeff and some vegan restaurant (Niall's not really listening, choosing to stare at Harry's mouth instead of the words coming out of it, and he has to mentally slap himself because this is exactly what he told himself he  _wouldn't_  do) when he notices a group of girls across the pub whispering to each other and pointing toward him and Harry.

Harry seems to notice Niall's lack of concentration and asks, "Everything alright, Ni?"

"I think we've been spotted," Niall mutters, nodding his head subtly to the table of girls. Harry on the other hand, is not so subtle, turning his head toward the girls, flashing them a grin and waving in their direction. Niall can hear a few of them squeal as they wave excitedly back, and Niall really hopes they don't take it as an invitation to walk over and strike up a conversation with them, because as much as Niall loves the fans, he wanted to spend a peaceful, quiet evening with no interruptions. "It's a bit loud in here, do you wanna go back to mine? I've got plenty of beer in the fridge."

"I know," Harry says, smirking, "you've got more alcohol in that fridge than you have food. It's a shame, really. I don't know how you survive when we're not on tour."

"One word, Haz: takeaway," Niall says, rising from the booth, pulling out a few notes from his wallet and tossing them on the table and slipping his phone back into his pocket.

"Not all of us are blessed with a fast metabolism like you," Harry says, and now it's Niall's turn to smirk.

They walk back out the front door of the pub, Harry following closely behind Niall as he leads the two of them back to his car. It's not completely dark yet, but the sun has long since disappeared behind the horizon, turning the sky a dark shade of blue. When Niall looks up, he can see a few stars beginning to peek through even though they're in he middle of London and he really shouldn't be able to see any at all.

Off to the side he hears the distinct sound of a shutter click from a camera, and when he glances back at Harry, he's holding up his phone with a small, almost fond smile playing at his lips.

"What are you doing?" Niall asks, raising a questioning eyebrow because although Niall has seen Harry take plenty of pictures over the years, only a handful of them have included people.

"Nothing," Harry says, smiling secretively at his phone as he taps a few buttons and Niall gets the sneaking suspicion that he's posting the photo on instagram. He wants to roll his eyes because he's sure his face doesn't quite fit in with the black and white aesthetic of Harry's instagram, but he also can't ignore the warmth that's spreading in his chest.

-

Niall's fingers fumble with his keys as he tries to unlock his door, too aware of Harry's presence behind him that he's sure he can feel the warmth radiating off of Harry's body even though he knows Harry isn't standing that close. When he finally manages to get the door open, he has a moment of panic, thinking about the messy state of his flat (he's not even sure why he's panicking, Harry's seen his flat piled high with dirty clothes more than once), but he still breathes out a sigh of relief when he flicks on the lights, suddenly very thankful that he spent last weekend cleaning the flat from top to bottom.

"Wow," Harry says as he steps in behind Niall, "I can finally see the floor."

"Fuck off," Niall says, trying to sound offended even though he's laughing.

He sees Harry take a seat on the couch as he walks into the kitchen and grabs two beers out of the fridge. He joins Harry back in the living room, handing him one of the bottles as he takes a long pull from his.

Harry wrinkles his nose. "Don't you have anything stronger than this?"

"Yeah. Why, you tryin' to get me drunk?" Niall asks, raising an eyebrow at him, even though he wouldn't object if Harry really  _did_  want to get him drunk, because that's how he planned on ending the evening anyway.

"It's your birthday, Ni," Harry says simply, rising from the couch and wandering into the kitchen. Niall can hear him slamming cupboards in search of alcohol, reemerging a moment later with a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. "How about a drinking game? Never Have I Ever?"

Niall laughs. "What are we, fifteen?"

"You got any better ideas?" Harry counters, raising an eyebrow at him as he sets the tequila and shot glasses down on the coffee table in front of him.

Niall sighs and shakes his head. He can't believe he's going along with this.

He watches Harry pour two shots, handing over one of the glasses to Niall, who takes it with a shaking hand.

"Okay, never have I ever..." Harry starts, scratching his chin as he pretends to think, "wanked on the bus."

Niall's eyes go wide for a second before he sends a glaring look Harry's way because they both know Niall's going to be taking a shot, Niall remembering all too well the time Harry walked in on him with his hand down his pants. "You  _are_  trying to get me drunk, aren't you?"

Harry doesn't say anything, but Niall catches the hint of a smirk as Harry places a finger under Niall's shot glass and helps guide it towards his mouth. "Drink up."

Niall downs his shot in one go, welcoming the burn as it slides down his throat. He refills his glass and turns back to face Harry. "Okay, my turn. Never have I ever... kissed a bloke," he says without much thought, wanting to get Harry back for his unfair gameplay tactics. But then he quickly remembers the kiss they shared, and he has another brief moment of panic, wondering if Harry even remembers it at all or if he was too drunk, but the smirk on Harry's face says otherwise. "A bloke that isn't in the band," he amends.

"Two can play this game, I see," Harry says, still smirking even as he downs his shot. He quickly refills his glass with more tequila and leans back against the couch, narrowing his eyes as he stares at Niall intently, pondering what he's going to say next. They go back and forth a few more times, each saying something that forces the other to take a shot. Niall can feel his brain turn a bit fuzzy from the alcohol, but he can still feel Harry's eyes on his as Harry says, "Let's make this game more interesting, yeah? Never have I ever... fallen in love with a best friend."

Niall's breath catches in his throat, and he's not sure if Harry actually knows the way he feels about him or if he's abandoned his tactics and is just genuinely curious. He tears his gaze away from Harry and stares down into the amber liquid of his shot glass, wondering if he should just lie and not take the shot. But he figures if the game continues like this, they'll both be drunk enough to forget everything anyway, so Niall brings the glass up to his lips and drinks.

He can see Harry's mouth drop slightly in surprise, like he hadn't actually expected Niall to take the shot, and Niall doesn't know if that should be a relief or a stab to the chest. He hates that it feels like the latter. "Really? Who?" Harry asks, his face lighting up with curiosity.

"Doesn't matter," Niall says quietly, fidgeting with his empty shot glass, itching for another drink. "I don't think they feel the same way anyway."

"That can't be true," Harry says, his voice suddenly soft and sincere as he reaches out to touch Niall's shoulder. "Who wouldn't love you? That person must be an idiot."

Part of Niall wants to laugh, but another part of him wants to say, "Yeah, you are."

"Niall," Harry says slowly. "What are you talking about?"

Niall's about to ask Harry the same question, but when he sees the incredulous look on Harry's face, his eyes go wide when he realizes that he had actually said that out loud and not in his mind. "I-" he says a bit helplessly, but he can see the look of realization dawn on Harry's face, and anything he were to say now would just be pointless.

"Niall-"

"I'm sorry, you can just forget I said that," Niall interjects quickly, looking away from Harry again, wishing he could curl up into a ball and disappear because he has no other option. He's not nearly drunk enough to blame it on the alcohol.

There's a moment of silence between them, that feels like an eternity for Niall, but he can't bring himself to say anything else because there's nothing he could say that would make this situation any less awkward than it already is. But, much to Niall's relief, Harry's the first to speak.

"You're wrong, you know," he says softly, but it's the earnestness in his voice that has Niall's eyes drifting back toward Harry's. "They do feel the same."

Harry gives a small smile, and Niall has to blink a few times to make sure he's not dreaming, that he heard Harry right. "Wait - They - You -" Niall babbles, because his mind is having trouble stringing words together, and through the haze of alcohol clouding his brain, it's even worse. "You do?"

"Yes," Harry says simply, finally setting aside his and Niall's shot glasses, although Niall gives his up a bit reluctantly because now he doesn't know what to do with his hands. "I've liked you for a while now, but I didn't know I was  _in_  love with you until we kissed at that party."

Niall swallows thickly. He didn't think Harry remembered that, nor did he think that the kiss had the same effect on Harry that it had on him. "Why didn't you tell me?" Niall asks, the cloud around his brain clearing enough for him to grasp the situation that's unfolding in front of him. This is definitely not how Niall expected the night to go, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a better ending than the one he'd pictured of him hunched over a toilet.

"I suppose I could ask you the same thing," Harry counters, aiming to get a smile from Niall, a matching one appearing on Harry's face when it works. "But I always thought you were too daft to notice or just didn't feel the same."

Niall shakes his head. "You're still an idiot. We're  _both_  idiots," he says, laughing weakly at his own stupidity and how they've both been dancing around their feelings for months.

"Well, then, let's stop being idiots for once," Harry says before he grabs the collar of Niall's shirt and kisses him.

It takes Niall a bit by surprise, and his mind goes fuzzy again, but this time for a different reason. Harry's lips are just as soft as he remembers, but this kiss is different than the last in the best way possible. Niall can taste the tequila on Harry's tongue as it slips into his mouth, and he finds it hard to form a coherent thought.

Harry releases Niall's shirt and moves his hand up to tangle in Niall's hair, and Niall's brain finally catches up enough to reach out and touch Harry, his hands coming to rest on Harry's hips, pressing into the warm skin through his shirt. They continue to kiss as Harry shifts so he's straddling Niall's hips, Harry's weight resting heavily on Niall's crotch. He hadn't realized he was half hard until now.

Niall squeezes the soft flesh of Harry's love handles, keeping him in place as Niall's hips arch up slightly, searching for friction against his rapidly swelling cock. Harry moans softy into Niall's mouth as he mutters Niall's name against his mouth, tightening his hand in Niall's hair as he slowly begins to grind down onto Niall's lap.

Niall's head falls back with a moan as Harry continues to gyrate his hips, the friction sending Niall's brain into overdrive. He feels like his body is on fire, from the tips of his fingers down to the tips of his toes, and he's sure he's flushed a nice shade of pink from the heat and all the tequila swimming in his veins. Another moan escapes him as Harry's lips trail down the column of his throat, and Niall finds it hard to focus on anything else.

"Fuck," he breathes when Harry applies more pressure with his hips, Niall's cock aching in the confines of his jeans. He arches his hips up off the couch again, feeling the way the bulge in Harry's pants rubs deliciously against his zipper. He and Harry moan in unison, and Niall wonders idly how much better this would feel if they were both naked and sober.

It doesn't take long for them to find a rhythm, Harry grinding down and Niall arching up, and Niall can feel a familiar heat begin to form in the pit of his stomach. He spreads his legs a bit wider, and the change in position has him groaning lowly in the back of his throat.

"I - I'm close," Harry chokes out, his free hand reaching behind Niall to grip the edge of the couch.

"Me too," Niall says, moving his hands down to cup Harry's arse.

Harry finds Niall's lips again and he moans softly into Niall's mouth as he comes; Niall can feel the wet patch at the front of Harry's jeans, but he doesn't stop grinding down onto Niall's lap or kissing him, and a moment later, he comes, spilling onto the fabric of his boxers. It feels messy, but Niall can't find it in him to care because he still feels like he's floating up in the clouds, dreaming. Harry brings him back to reality, softly caressing Niall's cheek as he kisses him a few more times before finally pulling away.

"Wow," Harry says, laughing into the crook of Niall's neck. Niall finds himself laughing too, even though he's not sure why. It's just one of those things that always happens, like the sun rising and setting everyday or the leaves changing colors in the fall: when Harry laughs, Niall laughs too. "I can't believe I just came in my pants."

"Wait till I sober up, then we won't need pants," Niall says, suddenly feeling the effects of the alcohol wash over him as his breathing becomes heavy and he has to fight to keep his drooping eyelids open.

"Is that a promise?" Harry asks, and Niall can just barely see his face, but he's known Harry long enough to know that one corner of his mouth is turned up in his signature smirk.

"Yeah, that's a promise," Niall affirms, trailing his fingers up Harry's spine and curling them around his neck, pulling him in and sealing his words with a kiss. "I need a shower," he says when they break apart, shifting uncomfortably at the stickiness of the drying come in his pants.

"Okay, yeah," Harry says, sliding a bit reluctantly off of Niall's lap. He stands up, staggering a bit to keep his balance as he fumbles to take off his jeans. Niall laughs from his seat on the couch, because Harry's always been a bit clumsy, but somehow his clumsiness is multiplied when he's drunk.

"What's so funny?" Harry asks, turning to face Niall with a pout, but Niall can see him fighting off a smile as Niall shakes his head with a fond smile.

"You," Niall says, his eyes trained on Harry as they trail down the length of his body. He's still got one leg in his too-tight jeans, but when he brings his ankle up to slip them off, he falls backwards, landing on the floor with a dull thud.

Niall erupts into laughter again, but quickly covers his giggles with his hand, not wanting to laugh at Harry's expense. He doesn't normally laugh when Harry falls, but all the alcohol he's consumed is making his brain a bit sluggish, unable to think before he reacts. But he can hear Harry laughing from the floor, so he doesn't think Harry's seriously injured himself.

"I'm so drunk," Harry says through his laughter.

"Yeah, you are," Niall says, still chuckling as he finally rises from the couch, his legs feeling a bit wobbly underneath him as he walks over to Harry, extending a hand out to help him stand back up. His palm feels warm where Harry grips it as he pulls himself up, facing Niall with a small smile.

"Thanks," Harry mutters, staring at Niall with a softness behind his glossy eyes, his hand still gripping Niall's.

Niall leans forward and kisses Harry, just because he can. He doesn't have to keep a distance between them, thinking about how much he wants to kiss Harry or hold his hand - he doesn't have to wonder what those sensations would feel like anymore. "C'mon, let's go shower."

-

When Niall wakes up, it's to a warm, wet mouth sliding down his cock, and Niall doesn't know how to react to it at first, thinking that it must be some sort of surreal dream, but the tight squeeze of Harry's throat at the tip of his cock reminds him that it's not.

And when he finally opens his eyes and glances down his body to see Harry's lips wrapped around him, he nearly comes on the spot. He tries to hold off, to enjoy the feeling of Harry's mouth around him, but Harry's tongue is hot against him, and his fucking  _mouth_  - it's all too much. A groan erupts from deep within his chest, and he comes in thick spurts down Harry's throat.

Harry pulls off, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before he crawls back up the bed to plant a soft kiss to Niall's lips. "Happy birthday, Nialler."


End file.
